Posted by This is my first collaboration with blogger Arushi Seth of BeingAThinkaholic. On her blog, I’ve written a guest post about my birth story. Click here to read it. Do follow Arushi for many interesting articles on parenting.
Life changes overnight when you get married. Over the years, your relationship with your spouse undergoes a lot of changes but one of the biggest changes that you witness in your marital life is when you have a baby. Parenthood is a life changing event; joyous and stressful at the same time. During my pregnancy, my husband was very caring and this made my pregnancy enjoyable. The minute my daughter was born, it was evident how his priorities changed. There is no way I am complaining as I love the beautiful bond they both share and I will always pray it just becomes stronger.
When we brought our preemie daughter home, life changed for both us. Firstly, she had come six weeks before her due date and we were not prepared and secondly, we had to be very careful with her. The first few weeks were stressful and I don’t think we even realized how this little bundle of joy had changed our relationship. If you feel that your baby changed your equation with your husband, welcome to the party. Let us see some of the ways in which your married life will change are:
There is a New Focus
A little baby is dependent on you both for every little thing and thus, it is inevitable that your life will revolve around them now. The little thing is so fascinating and needs undivided attention around the clock. It is better to expect this and go with the flow. The time you had for each other belongs to your baby and complaining will not help.
No Time
Many people around you will tell you that nurture your relationship and spend time alone. As a new mother or even as a new father, you might find this difficult. I agree, it is. We also went through this phase and did not go for movies and dinners. But you can do a few things like go for a walk or hit the gym together or may be just catch up with each other when the baby sleeps. You need to make a conscious effort and it will surely help.
You Hate Your Husband
Due to the feeding and the dad going to work it is true that a mother is the one who wakes up at nights. The routine during the day also might seem boring as all the baby does is drink milk, poop and sleep. It is very common that mothers feel that the father has a better and easier life. You will be jealous and will hate your husband. Go ahead but also remember they are also not very happy being away from their bundle of joy and missing all the precious moments.
Sex Life Takes a Hit
Initially your doctor will not let you have sex for six weeks and when they allow you will be in no mood. Stress, exhaustion, lack of energy, mood swings and less romantic moments will ensure you are not in the mood. I agree rushing or forcing yourself will not help but try and talk to your partner. They will understand you and this will help you getting things back on track.
Baby is More Important
So, you are a mummy and this little being you have created is the center of your universe now. Your husband might feel neglected or you both might feel the same as the husband will also be obsessed with his baby. Enjoy the time together and do not let this come in between you two. Do not hurt each other and remember how you are madly in love with your baby.
There were many changes the baby brought in our lives, but she has ensured we both have a new bond. She makes us smile, she makes us happy and she makes us feel complete. We laugh at silly things with her and we take care of her together. Yes, there are ups and downs but when we look at her, everything seems perfect. When you see your husband jumping with her like a baby, you for sure will fall in love all over again. And as is said, “ A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Arushi is a full time mother to a baby girl. She realizes relationships in life and especially motherhood do not come with a manual. All women should learn from each other’s experiences and thus she writes a blog, Being A Thinkaholic, to help people decode relationships, pregnancy and motherhood. Her thinkaholic brain works best at night when the world sleeps. Besides writing, she loves to travel and explore new places.
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yes its true…