Why I’m Afraid of Water: A Look Into My Past Lives

What is the first thought that enters your mind when you look at this picture? When I saw it, I could only think of my fear of water, specifically the fear of large water bodies. If you read my e-book, “Tales From My Travel Treasury: An Alliterative Anthology”, you would know that I attempted to understand and address this crippling fear through Past Life Regression (PLR) Therapy at ‘Ananda in the Himalayas’ Wellness Resort in Rishikesh.

Here, I’ll tell you about the three lifetimes I purportedly saw during my therapy sessions. They may not have cured my fear, but they make for a pretty good story!

1. POOR ORPHAN IN A SEASIDE TOWN:

As the therapist asked me to open doors in the corridors of my mind’s eye, the first one showed a teenaged girl hiding in fear, having stolen some food. Her mop of unruly hair, buck teeth and pockmarked face, bore no resemblance to me in my present avatar, but I could recognise her eyes as my own.

I was told the only way to recognise people, including oneself, in past lives is by observing the eyes. As strange as it sounds, I knew this girl was me.

The scene was a sea-side town in what felt like industrialised England, sometime in the 18^th century. The girl was clearly on her own, an orphan ostracised by society. To fend for herself, she would steal food and other basic items. That day she was almost caught stealing and chose to hide in a dark and dingy room that smelled of fish.

I could feel her unhappiness and the terrible burden she faced, living hand-to-mouth as a child. The large water body which was the hub of all activities in that port town, made an indelible mark on this unhappy girl.

2. RAKISHLY HANDSOME, NE’ER DO WELL SAILOR:

The therapist kept guiding me to see water while I explored my subconscious. A handsome, tall sailor floated into my mind next. I was witnessing a troubled family scene that took place a few centuries ago. Here I saw myself packing up my meagre belongings and heading out to sea, leaving my beautiful young wife and newborn child behind.

My wife pleaded with me to reconsider. I kept assuring her that it was a short assignment on a ship and I would be back soon. However, that was a lie and I knew it. I had no intention of returning to domesticity when being on the high seas was so much more fun.

I was poor in this particular lifetime too, but the prospect of not being attached or settled was exciting and I was a happy young man.

A few years later, I saw myself stuck on a makeshift boat, surrounded by water. My ship had sunk and I had managed to survive, where everyone else had perished. Many days of sailing without food and water gave me ample time to reflect on the wrongs I had inflicted on my wife and child, making me regret my actions deeply. When I finally washed ashore on an island, I was dead. To my mind, this gruesome water death was redemption for my reckless actions, but it also worsened my fears.

3. LONELY PRINCESS:

As I continued to think of water bodies, I saw an ocean from a high window in a tall tower. The lashing sounds of the water seemed to mimic the unhappiness that plagued my mind. I wore a floor-length white dressing gown and my long, dark hair flowed free, as I stared at the water. My husband, clearly a man of regal bearing, was leaving my room. It was rare that he visited and there was no love between us, even when he did visit.

A different scene in the same lifetime showed me sitting in front of a mirror, dressed in red ceremonial clothing. It was a lehenga-choli suggesting that I was a princess in an Indian principality from a past era. As I looked into the mirror, I saw a beautiful woman. She was so perfect that her beauty was legendary, but it was also the reason her paranoid husband kept her locked away in a proverbial tower. In fact, the only times she was allowed out were for ceremonial occasions.

As she examined her physical perfection in the mirror, she thought of it as a curse that forced her to live a life of abject loneliness. Despite having untold riches and comforts in this life, it was the unhappiest of the ones I saw. The water she constantly heard from her window, was a forceful reminder of her despair.

Witnessing these stories in my mind allowed me to understand potential reasons for my strange and debilitating fear of water. However, I only attended two sessions of PLR which were not enough to cure this fear or give me the courage to face it. I hope to try it again this year and achieve better results!

Do you have any unreasonable fears? How have you faced them, if at all?

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