Posted by Yes, yes, I know I’m late for Father’s Day! But this post, much like the one I wrote for Mother’s Day, was also originally written as a short essay submission (the limit was 250 words) which didn’t get picked. I really like it though, so sharing it here on my blog. Do share your thoughts in the comments section below – did the post resonate? Has your father stepped in at some crucial point in life and taught you valuable lessons too?
_________
Driving Lessons
By Noor Anand Chawla
I learnt to drive when I was 36 years old and pregnant with my second child.
There had been unsuccessful attempts to do so earlier. At 18, I abandoned the task upon hearing harsh words from an impatient driving instructor. At 21 and 30, I took the lessons but couldn’t overcome my fear of driving on congested Indian roads where traffic rules seemed mere eye wash. To be fair, with chauffeur-driven cars being a common practice in India, I never felt the need to drive myself.
That changed after a disturbing argument with my father-in-law (with whom my husband and I live, in a joint family set-up), about using his chauffeur. Upset, and thinking of the life I was nurturing within me, I decided to break this cycle of dependency.
Yet, I also knew that driving schools weren’t the answer. So, I called my Dad.
For months on end, my 63-year-old father arrived every morning at my marital home, and with immense patience and skill, taught me to drive in his own car. It was not an easy endeavour. Despite many mistakes, he never gave up on me, so I didn’t give up on myself either. I passed my driving test and earned my license six months into my pregnancy.
A month ago, I drove my father-in-law to the hospital when he fell and needed stitches. Once he was deemed out of danger, the first person I called was my Dad to say, “Thank you, I love you. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
I guess it took both fathers in my life to finally teach me to drive.
_________
This blog post is part of ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla.
_________
*This is not a sponsored post.
**Copyright in pictures and content belongs to nooranandchawla.com and cannot be republished or repurposed without express permission of the author. As I am a copyright lawyer by profession, infringement of any kind will invite strict legal action.
Your story about driving lessons reminded me more of my brother’s advice than my dad’s, which is kind of funny since I’ve never been behind the wheel myself. Here I am, 42 years old, relying on my trusty chauffeur or cabs like it’s the norm. But honestly, the insights you shared about having patience and building confidence got me thinking—maybe I should consider learning to drive now.
🙂
This was such a sweet read. Driving is a life skill but somehow we Indian gals don’t fully ace it. I know how to drive but I am not confident to brave the crazy Delhi traffic. My Dad is very apprehensive of me driving, so that further hinders me from gathering that courage to leave with car alone.
Just try it!
Well, actually the roads are choc-a-block now! When I learned to drive 20 years back, it was kind of less, easier. But you are lucky, your father had so much patience. I learned to drive with an acquaintance and he had no patience. Then, I went on to a driving school. I bought the car while learning and didn’t use it for a month. I relied on my brother, until he got sick of me. Then, finally during an emergency meeting I took the car out. I drove with a L for over an year. Now, it seems so hilarious.
Hahaha I held on to my L for ages too!
I’ve tried learning this skill, but fear often gets the better of me. Maybe it’s time to draw some inspiration. There have been so many moments when my father stepped in—to save, to protect, simply to be there. They truly are our silent heroes.
🙂
Good that you called your dad, Noor, to teach you driving. After I got married (20 years ago) my husband was teaching me driving. One day I asked, Now what should I do?’ and he jokingly said, Now take off. I got so annoyed that I joined a driving school. I thought I’d never learn, but I did it in just 7 days. But here in Oman, I haven’t learned.The speed limit is 120, and if you miss a turn, you can lose an entire hour, it just feels impossible. So now, I just depend on taxis or my husband.
I feel you!
Lovely. Yes, life sometimes does wake us up in various ways so that we understand that we shouldn’t be dependant. No, I haven’t had any valuable lessons by the father figures in my life. My mom has had a crucial role in many things. Like her strength to get through life with two kids and no husband from a young age.
That’s wonderful 🙂
Bless your Father , I think that is why we love them so much. They are dependable and have our backs. Hats off to you too to not give up on your desire to learn driving despite the initial setbacks.Truly we need to have more women friendly driving schools.
Yes that’s so essential!
A short post yet so meaningful. Carrot and stick seemed to have worked with you
Haha yes
I learnt the driving during my thirties too. It was kind of rebalion against the parents which feels stupid in hindsight. I had decided that I will learn to drive only when I will have my own car to drive. It ended up me driving dad’s old WaganR when he bought himself a new car!!!
🙂
I don’t drive either, for similar reasons as you didn’t Noor. Your beautiful post has inspired me to start again. Such a lovely and honest read.
Thank you!
A very heart touching post. Unfortunately my father was too busy always with work and never really was available for us. As for driving, I too have a license taken long back but the fear of roads is not letting me get behind the steering wheel.
It’s never too late!
It is so warming. I am yet to pick up driving though thinking it for few years but n-excuses come my way as soon as I finally decide.
It’s ok… whenever you’re ready
I really needed to read this now. learning to drive was one of the things I had wanted to do this year…its high time now.
🙂
Such a heart-warming blog. It is indeed true no skill every learnt can go waste. We someday do find ourselves in situations where the learnings come back to us!
🙂
What a beautiful post! I just loved it and after reading it I went into introspection that Ilearned so many things from my dad
🙂
Such a heart touching post and I can feel the warmth in your father- daughter relationship. When I was doing my MBA and was in the final year for summer internship I was selected for my training by Tata Telecommunication services , Mumbai. The move need to be urgent, even my mom said leave it its too far and fast city, look for an organization in your university city or in West Bengal. I was adamant to go to Mumbai as I want to see the city and explore the work culture. My father stood up and said no worries I will go with you and help you settle their. No reservation received and no one ever in my family can imagine travel by air – You know typical middle class thought process… Me and my father travelled to Mumbai on unreserved seat in if not so wrong ” Mumbai mail” — 2 night 3 days we spend in the train in unreaserved boggie and reached Mumbai…. he stayed in normal sharing guest houses putting me in a girls PG in Andheri. He stayed there for 10 days and settled me before he came back to West Bengal….. I am blessed to have such father who taught me the lesson ” Survival of the fittest”… He is no more now but his lessons I still believe made me strong in life. Miss You Baba.
What a lovely story Samata. My father also fought my mother and everyone else when he insisted on sending me to London for a Master’s degree. My mother was keen to get me married but my father believed education was more important. Really, thank god for our fathers!
This was such a touching read. The way you intertwined driving lessons with life lessons from your father brought a tear to my eye. It’s amazing how everyday moments, like learning to drive, become cherished memories. Thank you for sharing something so personal and profound.
🙂
What a heartfelt and beautifully written tribute, Noor. There’s so much patience and personal growth wrapped into this one and especially inspiring was the journey of learning to drive later in life and with a baby on the way. Such a loving Father’s Day message
🙂
No wonder Dads are a daughter’s first love. They care and support us unconditionally and have such an important presence in our lives. My regards to Uncle for his patience and contribution in getting your driving license.
🙂
Aw your dad is the bestest! I can’t imagine my dad being patient enough with me driving haha! But being a daddy’s girl myself I loved this and love you and your family <3
🙂
This is so relatable..I’m pretty much the same age, learnt last month taking the test next week.
Good luck!
Loved reading this, Noor! This brought back so many memories! I vividly remember my father teaching me to ride a two-wheeler at 15 because he didn’t want me to feel any less than the boys in our locality. He taught me how to drive a car just before I turned 18 and took me for my license test on my birthday as a birthday present! I owe so much to him for these life skills. I still follow his little driving tips to this day. And a few years back, I took him for his driving license renewal test. It truly felt like life had come full circle. Truly grateful for dads who empower their daughters!
And the way you love to drive is such an inspiration!
This tribute warms my heart. As far as I can remember, many things in my life are taught by my dad. I don’t know what I’d have done without his guidance.
🙂
This post brought back memories of my own dad teaching me to drive—equal parts scary and special! Such a heartfelt tribute. Dads really do shape our confidence in quiet ways.
🙂