Current State of Mind – A Rant

People are ill. People are dying. We sit at home, counting our blessings, but also afraid and exhausted, grateful yet guilty, overworked and anxious.

Our elected national leaders have FAILED. UTTERLY FAILED in the face of adversity. State leaders from opposing parties have their hands shackled, and are unable to do much, but are at least are trying their best. THANK GOD for lockdown – can you imagine if we followed our PM’s advice on “optional lockdowns”, where we would be today?

Election wins through rowdy rallies and religious events to garner favour with India’s majority population, seem to be of higher concern to our Hon’ble PM and his vexatious party, than thousands of human deaths on a daily basis. These deaths are on them – and their religion will hold them accountable for it.

The PM Cares Fund – perhaps the biggest scam from last year, seems to have done nothing of note. Unfortunately, it was the people of the country who donated their hard-earned money to it, despite the difficult waters they were wading through themselves.

Many brave souls are volunteering, and citizen drives have sprung up overnight to do what they can for their country. Since we no longer trust our leaders to use our money mindfully, we instead readily donate to private citizens, who do the job better and faster. Even if India is currently caught in a mindless political abyss, perhaps the future looks bright, now that we can see a crop of mindful and concerned citizens that could potentially lead us, instead of these selfish, power-hungry idiots currently running the show.

I am easily angered these days – remember what I wrote above? Grateful yet guilty adequately sums up my feelings. Powerless to help and constantly praying for the well-being of my loved ones. I snap at people for tiny things, take on more work than I usually would, in an attempt to block all the negative thoughts by keeping myself busy, but then I crib about feeling overworked.

Argh. Even the little joys seem inconsequential – not worthy of celebration in light of ‘all-that’s-happening-in-the-world’. My first ever legal article, first big cover story in a national newspaper that received tons of appreciation, loads of opportunities to work and grow in the space of journalism and content creation – have all happened in the last 10 days. But of course, ‘all-that’s-happening-in-the-world’ overshadowed that. And rightfully so.

Argh. Double argh. Where am I going with this? Nowhere. I had to write a piece for Blogchatter’s monthly Cause A Chatter activity, so I thought I’ll speak about mental health by trying to encapsulate my own crazy feelings in a post. I’m sure at least a few people would identify with my feelings. Then I thought, I have all this sponsored content (most of it made and paid for before things got so crazy) waiting to be uploaded to Instagram, and I’m just avoiding putting it up because it may seem heartless. So maybe I should write something straight and honest before I do that? I don’t know man. Is anyone actually even going to read this? Probably not.

Ok bye. Stay safe.

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This post is part of Blogchatter’s CauseAChatter

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*This is not a sponsored post.

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