The Range of Romantic Relationships in Lockdown #AtoZChallenge

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I recently received a Whatsapp forward highlighting the difference between everyone’s experiences during this forced lockdown:

“I heard that we are all in the same boat,

but it’s not like that.

We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat.”

There is tremendous variety in the reactions of people to this lockdown, which ties in with a recurring thought I’ve had over the last few weeks. I feel the varied circumstances that people are in, define their personal experience of this period.

One way to examine this hypothesis is through the numerous types of romantic relationships, which I’ll summarise here:

  1. NEW LOVERS:

My brother met his girlfriend seven months ago and they fell hard and fast in love. This forced lockdown came at the worst time for them and other couples in their position, who are still in the midst of the first flush. A forced separation during the best time of a relationship has the potential to wreak havoc, but they’re holding on because of their strong intent to do so. They speak to each other every day, play online games together, watch movies at the same time, and are planning to take an online course together; hence, being together in spirit, if not form.

My cousin, who currently lives in Ireland, has been dating her boyfriend for 9-10 months. Their story is different, because lockdown in the western countries is not like the one in India. We shudder to leave our homes even for groceries for fear of the virus and the authorities, but most other countries treat lockdown as a simple advisory to stay home. Public spaces, services and offices are closed but people are allowed to move out of their homes while exercising caution. Away from her family in Delhi, my cousin’s Irish boyfriend has become her family there. She sends us pictures of teaching him to cook chappatis, which make me happy to know she’s not alone at this time.

  1. REDISCOVERED LOVERS:

This category refers to couples that have been married for at least a few or many years. They have been settled in a regular life rhythm for years, but seem to have rediscovered/rekindled their initial passion during this forced containment.

For example, my husband and I are spending quality time with each other for the first time in months. And since it’s on a daily basis, it feels like a honeymoon of sorts! Don’t get me wrong, the love has always been there, but over the years our favoured habits as a couple got overlooked because of work, parenting and the general drudgery of life.

These days we exercise together, talk for hours on end, watch TV/movies together, sleep and wake up around the same time, eat every meal together, among other things…! There are days when we argue and bicker too, but we resolve these arguments quickly and easily, as we’re generally feeling happier and more romantic.

This is not just the case with me, other friends have told me they have begun to appreciate their husbands, as they’re chipping in with house work during this tough time, or connecting through more open and unhurried conversations.

  1. NEWLY-MARRIED LOVERS:

This category falls somewhere in the middle of the other two. I have a couple of friends who recently married their partners, after dating them for years. Their relationships don’t classify as new ones, but they’ve certainly entered a new phase of life. I think this scenario may play out in two different ways.

The lockdown could be an extended honeymoon with the couple discovering each other and learning to share their space and their lives, or they could be fighting a lot because they’re not used to sharing that space! The verdict’s out on this one for now.

  1. SEASONED LOVERS:

This category is for people of my parent’s generation, or older. They have lived together for years and years, which means their rhythms are already in sync, but now they must find a new mutual rhythm altered to their circumstances. They cook, clean, discover new TV shows, read and play cards together- perhaps a glimpse of retired life?

  1. SOMEWHERE-IN-THE-MIDDLE LOVERS:

This category consists of those that have been in relationships for years, but are not married yet. At first, having settled into a comfortable rhythm, they don’t feel the separation so dearly. However, a few weeks into lockdown, the urge to meet becomes earnest and strong. I recently learnt of a friend’s girlfriend who was brave enough to break lockdown to meet him one evening. I didn’t follow up on how that worked out, but I hope for their sake it went well!

  1. FRAUGHT-WITH-TENSION LOVERS:

As indicated by the million memes and funny videos doing social media rounds, all is definitely not well with married couples forced to spend time with each other in confined spaces! Most couples function on the basis of certain unsaid rules and allotments of space in their homes. When suddenly none of these rules apply, the forced confinement with one’s spouse may add to the tension!

  1. COVIDIAN LOVERS:

I would never have believed this category existed, but a dear friend of mine recently initiated a new relationship during lockdown! She began officially dating a guy she had been flirting with, in the last 10 days. Since they live in different cities, perhaps the adjustment was quite easy?! I’m sure there are others in a similar position, because the anxiety and loneliness brought on by lockdown can make people seek companionship, wherever possible.

It will certainly be interesting to see the fate of these covidian relationships once lockdown is over!

These categories are rough summations of things I’ve observed around me. Forgive me for the gross generalisations, but it’s meant to be a reflective and humorous post! I’d love to know if you identify with any of these 7 categories? If I’ve missed out on yours, do tell me.

Here’s my tip to beat lockdown blues today:

Hug someone. If you’re lucky enough to be living with someone during lockdown, give them a tight hug. If you’re alone, hug yourself or a pillow imagining a person you want to hug- after all, ‘jaadu ki jhappis’ bring instant smiles 🙂 

My TV Show Recommendation is:

“Russian Doll” on Netflix is a dark comedy that explores existentialism, through a protagonist that keeps dying only to come alive and relive that moment again and again. Beautifully written and highly-addictive!

A book that I recommend is:

“The Room on the Roof” by Ruskin Bond. This was Bond’s first published novel and it captures his teenage years in Dehradun so well. It made me a lifelong fan of his writing, when I read it as a teen myself.

A blog you should check out today is:

www.rightpurchasing.com written by Sundeep Ananth D. Through this A to Z Challenge, he’s writing a simple yet effective series on the basics of monetising a blog, and in yesterday’s Q post he invited questions related to this important subject.

That’s all for today folks!

Please check out my daily update videos on Instagram Stories for #LockdownWithTheLadyLawyer and follow me there to stay better connected. Also tell me your favourite TV Shows/ movies/ books/ bloggers with the letter R?

Rab rakha till tomorrow! (‘May god protect you’, a term for farewell in Punjabi)

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This post has been written for the #AtoZChallenge 2020. My theme this year is #LockdownWithTheLadyLawyer, where I’m journaling my thoughts during the coronavirus lockdown, and sharing numerous recommendations that will help keep your spirits up. Read my other posts here:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q

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*This is not a sponsored post.

**Copyright in pictures and content belongs to nooranandchawla.com and cannot be republished or repurposed without express permission of the author. As I am a copyright lawyer by profession, infringement of any kind will invite strict legal action. 

67 comments

  1. Haha i love this one but it is so true. I fall in the 2nd one and I am enjoying this lockdown with my husband. Lovely read as always

  2. I live alone, which sucks in time period. I am dying for a hug/cuddle.

    I’m glad you and your husband are reconnecting in many ways. Forced rejuvenation. Be happy!!

    R recommendations:

    TV: I 100% agree with Russian Doll. It was brilliant in so many ways from the basic story and into all the actors. I both want and don’t want a second season. I think it was perfect as it was.

    Movies: Raiders of the Lost Ark is a good film. Overacted in spots, the ending leaves a lot to be desired, but it was fun in the movies, no commercial breaks. Animation, I really recommend Ratatouille. Just enjoyed this film immensely.

    TV shows: I can not endorse Riverdale. Cheesy, badly written, and really has very little to do with the Archie comics that it is “based” on. One that I semi liked was the first few seasons of the original Roswell (not the new version). It went off the tracks, imo, during the third season.

  3. this was an interesting read Noor and I really love the way you had described different kinds of couple in a humorous style. for me, the most interesting is covidian lovers.this is good that people are dealing this tough situation by adding romance and fun in their life. really liked today’s blog recommendation, and i also finding sundeep’s post for A2Z series is very informative.

  4. Another interesting piece indeed. I think the main reasons for couples fight at this time would be related to sharing of household responsibilities.

  5. Nicely thought-out categories of lovers. I belong to somewhere-in-the-middle category. Everything about being under lockdown is manageable except for not being able to meet my partner. My sister, on the other hand, is spending her quarantine with her fiance, whom she could only meet on the weekends otherwise. How true that we’re facing the same storm but in different boats. 🙂

  6. Ruskin Bond is one of my favourite writers. I must have read him a thousand times over. I also think a lot of writings are an extended reflection of his philosophy.
    I am amazed at your ability to have put the lovers in so many categories. I couldn’t think of these and as I read on I was like okay…This too! I’m impressed.

  7. Another creative yet equally interesting post Noor with the touch of Humor , I fall under category 2, funny part is I almost found every category’s couple in my family, it brought a smile on my face throughout, thanks for recommendations will surely check those!

  8. You missed an important category – lovers who are turning into enemies because the partners are being difficult! I am glad you are able to spend more time with your husband 🙂

  9. Such an interesting take on different types of couples during this lockdown. Kept smiling the whole while, as I was trying to figure out how I keep fluctuating between a few categories as mentioned in the list. Every day feels different! Very creative with a tinge of humor! Loved it!

  10. That was so Interesting 😍 It’s always sweet to read about love and the relationship stories, Loved all the categories of lovers, last one is super favourite, covidian lovers 😍✨👍👌 This is a lovely post Noor ✨🥰💐

  11. This was interesting Noor, I really feel bad for the first type of lovers. Infact as i read, I could imagine a couple in that category except for the last one Covidian and as you said it will be interesting to see their fate once this lockdown ends.
    Thanks for the lovely mention, Noor. I am honored. Thank you 🙂
    — rightpurchasing.com

  12. What a humorous and romantic way of writing this post! And there are the last category of married couples who crabe to spend time together but one is busy serving the sick and the other is busy worrying about him.

  13. You nailed it Noor..awesome summations!! I fall in tot he Gma and Gsons bonding category 🙂 It has been the ebst time of my life.We do such fin things together.The lockdown has been such a blessing for me and I think there could be a covidian friendship too building <3 Cheers to you girl More power to u and ur pen.

  14. Haha this was brilliantly summarized. For new couples, the lockdown can be a very trying period indeed, especially if they are far away. But thanks to technology, they can always video call! I’m glad that your cousin has got company in a faraway land. For many others, it’s the best time to rediscover love. I’m happy to know that you are having a treat time. 🙂 If there’s one thing the lockdown has done, it has definitely give us a lot of time to spend with our loved ones. I hope that your friend’s girlfriend didn’t get into trouble! Haha, covidian lovers. That’s one category that makes sense. People can be so stupid. Being blind in love isn’t exactly an excuse. Right now, I’ll have to settle for hugging a pillow! Sundeepji’s blog is very informative indeed.

  15. Even my brother was going to married in April but lockdown postponed plan. As girl living Delhi alone , bring her at home. So this is giving time to understand each other.

  16. Aawww this is an out of the world categorisation Noor, is loved the read. I guess we fall in the category 2 dear. Isn’t it fun to spend so much time together. Super observations indeed!

  17. That’s a very cute post, never thought of relationships in this angle during lock-down. Me & my spouse are in different cities but I’m staying in touch with some good friends for life in lock-down even if not romantic. Interesting post
    Have been reading sundeep good posts. Have read the room on the roof about rusty, nice one.

  18. Russian Doll – noted.

    I think you’ve classified almost all the categories of couples. I loved the Covidian couples. They’re the sign of turning something painful into something beautiful. Let’s hope that they stick together. One thing is for sure. Covid has shaken the foundation of couples all over the world. Whether it’s for the good or the bad depends on the respective scenario.

  19. Enjoyed reading the types of romantic relationships in lock down. The rules of the game have changed for everyone, so some have it good and some have it tough 😀
    The other day, I came across an article on covidivorces 😐
    Russian Doll is an interesting series. Love Ruskin Bond’s stories. Robert Galbraith aka JK Rowling’s books are fab too.

  20. Great list. Covid-19 has got so many types of ‘romantic’ couples & ‘relationships’ in focus! 🙂
    “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”. Glad when couples enjoy togetherness.

    Anita

  21. Enjoyed reading.. u missed “glued to the screen couples ” like us.. husband over-burdened with wfh and i am stuck with homeschooling. We hardly speak to each other these dys.

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